Nerves, 5 1/2 mins, Action, Greatness!

By fantasyjester
NERVES, 5 1/2 mins, Action, Greatness!! Is a True Story!

Nerves is a story….One that made me laugh, one that made me want to cry.

Before I get to that story, I have to go back and tell you an occasion in my life, that was eerily similar to last nights Fantasy Jester Show.


Several years ago, at this resort in Key West….


On the little beach at the end of the property….


I married my personal angel, Mrs. Jester.

Why do I tell you that? Because when we were getting married, I told the beautiful one..”Do not be late to our wedding!!” Why would someone say this? Simple, once upon a time ago, Mrs. Jester used to run late…for EVERYTHING. Thank the dear lord she doesn’t anymore. But I had told her that if she was late, I wouldn’t be there.

During that day I felt calm. Nerves, what nerves? I truly thought I was handling it fine. But then, my brother pointed out to me that I had two cigarettes burning at once…yeah I’m doing great. This was back when I smoked, happy to say I no longer do. That was two hours before the wedding. The next two hours felt like seconds. The rush, the nerves, the shear desire for all of it to be perfect was a rush I had never experienced before in my life.

We are now minutes from starting and I am asked for the marriage license. They knew I had it, I figured this was done AFTER the ceremony. NOOOO! We need it now.

Guess who was 5 minutes late to his wedding?

If you guessed yours truly, here’s your prize.

A moment, that whenever needed by my wife, will haunt me forever!

I tell you this so as we fast forward to last night, the DEBUT of The Fantasy Jester Show.

No problem with Nerves…

After three visits on another radio show and a couple of test runs, I went into yesterday feeling really good about last nights show. The day was running along smoothly. Spending time with family, friends stopping by for well wishes, text messages, and all that goes with Facebook andTwitter. Seemingly running through my day like a walk in the park.

At four o’clock, I had my two cigarettes burning at the same time moment. It was at four o’clock that something said to me, ” Remember, while you are great at fantasy sports, this is the first time doing and running your own radio show. The radio show Gods will never let you do the first show to perfection. You will not, under any circumstances, complete this without one misstep. It’s what happens to everyone.”  I swear I heard na-na-na-na…nothing you can do!


It hit. It hit like a ton of bricks. Nerves kicked into full gear. The Jester part of me was just fine. I have ZERO problems with confidence when it comes to Fantasy Sports. It is what I do, and I do it very well.

The other part of me came to a stunning realization that I HAD NEVER RUN MY OWN SHOW BEFORE!!!!

A bunch of things to worry about came running through my head. I checked my notes. Did I have enough content? Were all my sound effects loaded that I might use? Then I realized I was going to be using the same studio as another show. Had they pre-programmed the intro music, probably. OH SHIT, I don’t know how to change it. I text them, trying to not sound overly panicked. They give me what seem to be simple instructions. WHEW! Crisis averted!!

Fast forward…and it seemed like seconds. It is now 6 pm. Two hours until show time. Nerves are kicking in as text messages are starting to pop up with well wishes and/or words of encouragement. You would think that would help. NO, IT DIDN’T!

Because most of the people who talked to me, reminded me of how much I know about sports and fantasy sports and how I will do fine because of it, in my pea brain it went in as YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU ARE DOING ON THE RADIO. At one point, I swear I heard myself say…YOU DO REALIZE YOU HAVE ZERO TRAINING OR SCHOOLING IN THE RADIO INDUSTRY.

I can’t type this as loud as it was in my head.


It was at 7 pm that I started to see me go back and forth between a confident Jester and the nervous radio rookie boy.

7:30 pm…realizing there is one thing in this world that I do not do in my life… fail at what ever I put my hands on..I am now going FULL Jester. I am set. I am pumped. I am….ready! Let’s do this!!

Double checking everything. I have my water for dry mouth. I have my notes. All wires fastened to ensure quality sound. Double checked with guests to make sure they were set. ALL is running GREAT!

Somewhere, a radio God at that point is saying to itself, ” Sucka!!”


Twelve minutes to show. I go into the room my family’s packed in like escaped refugees. All looking at me so proud, so happy for me. They know I love this, I love sports and I love the idea of bringing you a REAL Fantasy Analyst! My family, as always, has my back. The two corgi’s are looking up at me like, “GO GET ‘EM DAD!” (yes, they call me dad). I make my way around the family each one giving me a hug and a kiss. The proverbial warrior off to battle scene.

I’m loving it.

This is it.

This is my time to shine. My time to take my career to the next level!!!

I’m ready to tear into the show like I’m William Wallace!!! All I needed was some war paint!!

I sit down and go into the blogtalk studio. I want to change the intro. I grab my phone to pull up the boss’s notes on how to change it. When read, it was easy as hell. I go to change it….and realize that as usual what he sees on his computer is different from mine. I’m on a chromebook. Slight panic. Nothing major, I can figure it out.


Our hero hasn’t figured out crap. I am literally pulling hair from my head…and I am bald. I am so nervous that I am now growing hair where there has been none for years…just so I can pull it out!!

I’m glad that’s funny.

I am now getting the blogtalk people in my ear giving me a countdown in my ear as this is going on.

THIS IS NOT HELPING!! I can see the timer folks, not blind, bald, but not blind.

This is when I found out I wouldn’t be a good bomb tech. I am too laid back to do that.


Nerves are gone.

One minute…I find what has to be done. Crisis averted. I didn’t blow up! WHEW!

Radio Gods everywhere laughing at me at this point, knowing what’s coming.

I mute my mic, thinking that while the intro plays, I will have a drink of water, catch my breath and be fine.

Radio Gods laugh more.

I muted my mic because I know full well I am capable of taking a drink too fast and choking. I did NOT want that on air as my intro starts. As I take my first sip, I have the 5,4,3,2,1…your show is live, in my ear.


I know which is my intro. I’ve used it enough in practice. THE WRONG INTRO IS PLAYING. Okay, I’m going to just play my intro right after and make like it’s one. It’s the debut show…nobody knows what it’s supposed to sound like. So I hit the Jester intro. It’s playing…whew…no problem.. I have this from here, the rest is all Jester. Jester is the man!! The intro is done and then…


The worst thing in radio is dead air.

After the intro, Jester took over. Jester was rolling. Things were flowing as prepared…this is great!!! It was when one of my packed away refugees, my son, came out and looked quizzically at me, that I looked at the light on the top of my mic. The red muted light.


I am pissed. Pissed like I’ve never been pissed before. I hit the mute button and try to pretend not to be.

The rest of the show went well. Actually, it went great!! A little longer than I wanted to on my non-fantasy guest, but it was such an amazing topic. Ryan Walton, and his stories about sharks, is fascinating.

So, I get through Ryan and get to my safe haven…Fantasy Sports and talking with my good friend Jason Townsend. That segment went EXACTLY as I knew it would and how I wanted. It was during that period of the show it flew, but in a good way. I had so much more Fantasy analysis I wanted to bring you.

5 minutes late to my wedding will forever haunt me during my marriage. BUT, it would kickoff a great marriage.

5 minutes late to my own show will forever haunt me during my career. BUT, it will kickoff a great career.

I can’t wait until next weeks show. The early feedback was, except for the delay, positive…everyone has liked it. Not trying to sound like an ass when I say this, I knew people would. I will have a great show. You will learn more about sports on my show, than you will anywhere else. Go and read my writings for my baseball special, the position by position breakdown. You will find them under the MLB tab.

Read my articles, about Daily Fantasy Giants and just how crooked they are and nobody knows.

If you haven’t heard the show, you can click our Radio Shows tab. The beauty of it is the version you hear now, it has only a few second delay between intro and me, so it doesn’t sound as bad.


Tuesday will be TOP 10 Fantasy Left Fielders 2016.


Remember you can find me or contact me direct @ The Fantasy Jester Facebook page or Twitter !!!


WOULD YOU LIKE AN OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY BASEBALL AGAINST THE FANTASY JESTER IN A MONEY LEAGUE?? In the coming days, look for a special post with available dates and times. Do you think you have what it takes to beat me? Put your money up and find out!!





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