Cam Newton

Cam Newton…Get Off the Lawn

By fantasyjester



As an “older” man myself, I couldn’t be more happy to see the ages of the starting quarterbacks as the NFL’s final four play tomorrow. One gets tired of hearing it’s a young man’s game, a young man’s world, and getting old isn’t pretty. Or even worse, told you have a beautiful daughter…and it’s your wife who is a year younger. Yes, getting old isn’t easy. Fortunately for us “old” guys we have a chance at a Super Bowl match up of us oldies at quarterback.  Yes, a chance to rename the Super Bowl as The Nature Valley Granola Bowl. Instead of all day pregame shows, The Granola Bowl will take all day to play. No time out will be given to each team as everything will stop every five minutes for a bathroom break. I already have the advertisers attention! Cheerleaders will be dressed as nurses. Be honest, not a bad idea. Finally, the Halftime Show will be replaced by the Halftime Nap! I’m liking this!! Let’s take a look at our three heroes of the Granola Bowl and the one whipper snapper trying to keep it the Super Bowl.


Cam Newton, 26, and clearly the kid of the group will first be facing Carson Palmer (above), who is the youngest of the old guys at 36. While two of the three oldies have been to the dance and won it, Carson has not. This will be Cam’s first shot at the dance. It’s adorable to see the youthful hope, in a child’s eye, as he goes against the elder statesmen of the game. The lawn he is trying to play and win on is being blocked by Palmer and then either Tom Brady (38) or Peyton Manning (39). So as Cam wants to play and win on the big peoples lawn, we can see it only gets older and more experienced as he goes. Again, he first needs to beat the Carson Palmer led Cardinals. Then, if he makes it to the adult table, haha kids,so cute…but let’s say the kid wins…he still will have one of two old men to go and our old guys represent us well. They have been to the BIG game. They have won the BIG game. They have been MVP of the BIG game. They are BOTH future Hall of Famers. So how young IS Cam Newton compared to the other quarterbacks in actual game experience…

Player                      Yards               TDs                    Comp%

Cam Newton         18,236               117                     59.2%

Carson Palmer      40,036              259                    62.7%

Tom Brady             58,028             428                    63.6%

Peyton Manning    71,940             539                     65.3%



I’m going to need to wrap this up soon as I need a nap before I go for my Early Bird Special at the local Fish House. So yes, these old guys that he could potentially face in the Super Bowl have been around the block…alright more than a couple of times. They have played on the big lawn and have succeeded. Whether it’s Cam Newton or Carson Palmer, both will be playing one of the greats of the game no matter which one makes it..Brady or Manning. They have a combined 5 Super Bowl wins (Brady has 4) and have combined for four Super Bowl MVP awards (Brady 3). Imagine…of ALL the young QB’s in the league that could be here and 3 of 4 are ready to endorse bladder control products on some expensive commercial during the Super Bowl. Peyton for Life Alert… Palmer for AARP… Brady for the Hover Chair. Meanwhile the kids in the league will be cheering for Cam as he does the ad for a McDonald’s Kids Meal. LOOK, Cam got a toy surprise!!


NFL: New England Patriots at San Diego Chargers

Nope, here is the true surprise. While it’s not the norm a young guy wins, there is some cause for concern. Ben Roethlisberger, at 23, was the youngest to “win” the Super Bowl. Although, I do say “win” loosely as he was actually horrible that day and had little to do with their victory. Big Ben was 9 of 23 for 123 yards and 2 ints that day. BUT, when given the chance, the little buck-a-roos (under age 30), since 1990, have a record against us distinguished gentlemen (over 30) of 8-3. Proving that all those yards, all those TDs, all that playoff experience, Super Bowl victories and even MVPs mean nothing. Absolutely nothing. This is football, you learn early in football life the meaning of ANY given Sunday! Which is EXACTLY why us “old men” want/need the Carson Palmer led Cardinals to win. We want the OLD Bowl. We want The Granola Bowl. We want cheerleaders dressed as nurses! We want the Halftime Nap! We want Cam to….. GET OFF THE LAWN!!



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